THE CITY

Hey, Sammy:

You know the old cliché, “If you’re reading this message, it means I’m dead”? Well, little bro’, this time, it’s true.

Now, before you waste a tear mourning me, I’m begging you to consider something far more important than having one less brother and cop on the Elite Security Squad. I swear to you, I’m not nuts. Everything I’m telling you is absolutely true. I know that, as a Second Ministry City official, you’ll feel obligated to report me. But before you do, I hope you’ll listen to your big brother one last time. What you do with this report, I’ll leave to your good conscience, but people deserve to know.  So here goes.

Last week, after almost five years on the ESS, I wasn’t surprised to be mustered out in the middle of the night. I figured Squad One had turned up another illicit drug lab or something. But what shocked the shit out of me was who gave me my assignment. It was none other than City Security Senior Commander, Captain Rightwood, the third most powerful man in City Administration—I mean, Captain frig’n RIGHTWOOD himself!!

Anyway, he swore me to absolute secrecy. I wasn’t even supposed to contact you. He promised to inform you of my mission himself. (I’m guessing he hasn’t, so consider that too.) Anyway, he told me not only that I was going undercover, but that I had to Break Outside. I couldn’t believe it. I figured it was some loyalty test, so I immediately refused. Everybody knows that nobody who has ever been crazy enough to try to Break could possibly survive on the Outside! All our lives, we’ve been taught that The War destroyed everything beyond The City’s protection, that virtually everything in the rest of the Countryside is either dead or deadly. Remember how the Learners drilled into us that if our Administration hadn’t protected us, if they hadn’t sealed us all in, and if our corporate scientists hadn’t developed the miraculous systems that keep us alive, humankind would have perished more than a century ago? It’s what we’ve always known, right?

Well, Sammy, I now know that it’s all a lie. Complete bullshit!

Right now, I’m not wearing any protection gear — not even my Vision Mask — and yet I’m Outside, in the Countryside, breathing fresh air and looking back at The City. In fact, I’m sitting under a real, living TREE. An oak, I think, from the Old Books. And that’s just the start. I’m looking up at the sun and I can feel its warmth on my bare skin. The SUN! I thought the sky Sims were beautiful; well, they’ve got nothing on the blue I’m looking at now. Yesterday, I put my feet into a stream so clear I could hardly see the water. From here, I can see fields of hay, corn, and golden flowers running for miles. Just like in the Sims, they move with the wind. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I feel like I’m looking at, I don’t know… Happiness?

Sammy, I can’t tell you how badly I hope you’ll be sitting out here just like this someday, because this is how I want to think about you.

Sorry, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Okay. Everybody knows that The Factories ringing The City create virtually everything we need – food, water, medicine, our clothing, all of our technology, everything. Maybe you’ve visited them in the course of your duties. I haven’t, but I’ve heard that they are amazing places. So, Captain Rightwood tells me something insane – that our whole factory system is under threat.

I told you it sounded nuts!

He told me his intelligence team had determined that there was a large group of “terrorists” Outside and that they were plotting an attack to destroy our factories. I asked him how terrorists could possibly live out there, let alone how they could penetrate The City’s Security barriers? It seemed unimaginable. He said I just had to trust him and The Administration, and that I had my orders. My mission was to stop these crazy Countrysiders who were just jealous of everything that they had left behind—everything the Good Citizens of The City still had.

Of course, I believed him.

He handed me a device the size of my fist and a Comm unit, which is what I’m using to message you now. All I had to do was carry the device with me and signal him when I found the group. He would look after the rest. I was pretty sure that the device he’d given me was some kind of thermal-shock or even nuclear device, but I didn’t ask any more questions. Sammy, you’ll know how scared I was. Still, you’ll also know that whatever I had expected to find out here didn’t matter because I was prepared to die defending The City and our people.

Anyway, Rightwood ordered me to exchange my uniform for the strangest costume, which he said would help me blend in with the Countrysiders. It was in several colored pieces of actual cloth that hardly conformed to my skin, and nothing matched anything else. Very impractical. I felt silly putting it on.

Then, he finished his briefing, wished me good luck, and reminded me that eleven million people were depending on me. I assured him I wouldn’t fail. I pulled on my self-contained Safety Suit, climbed into a Personal Transport Unit, and sat back while it executed its instructions. The trip to the Barrier took forever as it kept stopping at the Command Security Checks, but eventually, my unit stopped and ordered me to disembark. When I did, it was as if I had stepped into a prehistoric, smoke-filled cave. Even the rocky floor bubbled under my boots like I was standing in acid or something. My sensors registered toxicity at nine-hundred and forty-seven, a level that you know would melt the flesh off an exposed human in seconds. I had no idea where this waste was coming from, but I really believed that this just reconfirmed everything I’d learned about the horrible devastation I was about to encounter out there, beyond The City.

Inside my helmet, I couldn’t hear anything or see more than a few inches in front of my face the smoke was so thick, but of course, my Sensors showed me the way. Even though my suit was impervious, I could tell that the outside air–if you could call it that–was blowing from behind me. Negative pressure, I told myself. As I walked, I could tell there was a wind that was getting steadily stronger until it felt like I was in a huge wind tunnel. At one point, I had to drop to my knees and crawl to keep from being blown over.

Finally, as I started to make out a faint light ahead of me, there was a whistling sound so loud I could hear it through my helmet. By then, the wind was powerful enough that I expected to be picked up and thrown against the wall at any moment. I’d considered turning back, but doubted I could have beaten the headwind. Then, I don’t know, but I started to laugh.

It was… well, do you remember when Mom used to read to us, up in that funny room she’d found? She said it was an attic. She had that funny paper thing she called a book? It had these stories in it. Anyway, do you remember the one about the girl who got blown away by the tornado? The Wizard of Odd… something like that. Anyway, that’s what that wind made me think of. I remembered that and the stupid lion and the little green guy. Anyway, so there I was, laughing my ass off and sure I was about to die, when the whistling stopped, the wind dropped, and I found myself in this strange yellow half-light.

I still had trouble making out shapes, but as I kept going, the wind dropped further, and the light grew steadily brighter. My sensors told me I’d travelled more than six miles from the drop-off point. I was well outside The City and yet, I was still alive. I checked, and my sensors indicated toxicity at forty-three. After I’d walked another two miles, the level was down to six. I couldn’t believe it. Even in our home, it’s usually between twenty and thirty. My head was spinning as I tried to understand. I hesitated, but finally decided to remove my helmet. You can imagine how fast my heart was racing when I deactivated my suit. I held my breath for as long as I could before taking a gulp of air.

Sammy, I can’t properly describe that first breath except to tell you it was the cleanest, sweetest-tasting air I’ve ever inhaled. It was another long moment before I began to take in my surroundings. As incredible as what I saw was, the smell cut right to my soul. The perfume of real trees, of wildflowers, and grass. And then I looked up and saw the sky. The actual sky!

I started laughing hysterically again, which is what I was doing when I realized I was no longer alone. At least fifty people surrounded me. Men and women—no children. They were all dressed in the same strange clothing that I wore. Except for their disheveled appearance, I thought they looked just like anyone from The City. But then I noticed that many of them had deep purple rashes on their faces and arms, and their eyes were dark and sunken. No one spoke.

Although their posture wasn’t aggressive, most of them carried some truly primitive weapon. Knives or rocks—even sharpened sticks. I remember thinking that, if these were the terrorists I’d been warned about, I could hardly believe that they represented any possible threat to The City. Just as odd, I had the bizarre impression that they had been expecting me, even though I saw no signs of any sensing equipment they might have used to track my approach.

They studied me, as I did them, still without speaking. A few of them rapidly signaled each other with their fingers, and I noticed several smiles, so I knew they were sharing a joke at my expense.

Finally, one big man with broad shoulders and a full dark beard that would have prevented him from ever wearing a Mask stepped forward. He stared at me with these deep black penetrating eyes, but he still said nothing. I decided he wanted me to speak first. I told him my name and was about to give him my cover story, about how I wanted to join them, when he held up his hand, silencing me. Several men and a woman rushed forward and grabbed me. I immediately detected a strange, repugnant odor coming off them, a smell like rotting grist-fruit. Before I could react, they had my arms pinned behind my back. They began confiscating my protective suit and the rest of my gear, including the devices Rightwood had given me. The strangest part was that, even though they’d completely overpowered me, I didn’t feel my life was in danger.

Without a word, they let me go and signalled for me to follow them. They led me along a rough stone-and-mud pathway that wound past this natural stream, then up a steep hill through a densely wooded area. I couldn’t help staring at everything in front of me. Again, the sight of the blue sky and actual living trees and plants, all of it felt both unreal and more real than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life.

Without Sensors, I could only guess how far we had traveled, but I believe it was about two more miles before we reached a clearing at the top of the hill. There, maybe a hundred more people had gathered in front of dozens of crude-looking stone and wooden structures that I assumed were homes. It was impossible to guess their ages, but no one could have been younger than their twenties. Although most looked suspiciously at me, I saw more curiosity in their faces than fear or anger. Virtually everyone carried the same dark purple skin blemishes I’d already seen.

The big bearded man led me into a large building at the center of their gathering place. Inside, lit by tiny burning sticks, about twenty people sat silently around a large, wooden table. They all looked more mummy-like than human, ancient and bent in place. I immediately assumed that these must be this community’s governing body, its Administration. I saw no screens, sensors or anything electronic. The bearded man nudged me closer to the table. As no one spoke, I decided to make another attempt at delivering my cover story. Again though, before I could begin, a bent-necked woman with long, white hair stood and silenced me with a raised finger. Then, she leaned on her thick cane, pulled herself to her feet, and slowly started to walk toward a large, curtained opening at the front of the room. I followed her until she stopped, and two men silently pulled the curtains aside.

Since I had been so preoccupied with my “captors” and my new surroundings beyond The City’s outer barrier, I hadn’t bothered even once to look behind me. Now, I froze at the sight filling the opening before me. There was The City I’d left behind, as I had never seen or imagined it. Rather than a brilliant display of life, light, and ingenuity, I stared at what most appeared to be the horrible silhouette of a huge Stygian mountain. Like angry fireworks, it seemed to spew noxious-looking fumes high into the air in every direction. That was when I remembered the wind that had followed me underground and realized what should have been blatantly obvious–that the deadly smoke I’d encountered as I’d left the confines of The City wasn’t pollution from outside its boundaries; it was The City’s effluent disgorging into the Countryside!

Dumbfounded, I turned to the old woman, who watched me over hooded eyes in continued silence. She studied my face for the longest time. Finally, she nodded toward the awful mountain that was my home. Then, ever so slowly, she pulled open her top to reveal her sagging breasts and skin. Hardly a piece of her flesh was free of angry purple welts or boils. Then, in unison, the others followed suit, lifted their tattered garments, and showed me the same disfigurements. They all wore terrible, running lesions that made it seem their bodies were rotting from the inside out.

“What happened?” I had to ask, even though I already knew the answer.

The old woman smiled at me, opened her mouth, and squeezed out the faintest rasp of sound. Then, she looked back at the black mountain for a moment before turning to me again, a wordless question in her eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re asking,” I said, although of course, I did. She wanted to know if I understood that they—her people—were suffering because of us!

I closed my eyes and sighed, ready for the onslaught of their anger. Instead, the silence continued. Finally, I opened my eyes again and looked around the room. I was shocked to see that not only were they not judging me, but there was pity in their expressions.

As I searched for words I knew would be beyond inadequate, I sensed new movement behind me. I turned to face a parade of at least fifty children, several carrying swaddled infants and several holding the hands of toddlers. Everyone of them was naked from head to foot. I gasped in astonishment. My surprise was not just at seeing such an unexpected gathering of young faces. It was at the sight of their pale flesh. They carried none of the hideous markings that every one of the adults had shown. Their skin was completely unblemished!  

Sammy, I made up my mind right then and there. I went back to the bearded man and asked for my things back, including my communicator and Rightwood’s device. I didn’t trust that the Commander would wait for my signal, and I had to get the weapon as far away from these poor wretches as I could. He glanced at the woman but returned everything without a word. Then, another woman stepped forward and handed me a sack filled with water and rations. I pointed west, away from The City, and the white-haired woman nodded again.

That was three days ago. I’ve been walking ever since, and I’m on the other side of a mountain range. I’m too exhausted to go any further, so this is where I must make my stand.

Sammy, you may have guessed what’s next. Right after I send you this message, I’m going to signal Rightwood. If I’m right about this device, I’ll be gone in seconds. I can only pray that the Countrysiders I’ve met are safe – as safe as they can be.

Like I said, what you do with my story is up to you. I just wish I could have done more.

I love you, little brother. Live well.

g.